1996 – Mayoff Day

Sung to the the tune of “(The Man on the) “MTA
Lyrics by Doug Frazier

Let me tell you all the story of a man named Bernie
on a tragic and fateful day.
He wrote out some invitations, kissed his wife and family,
Went to mail them out for Mayoff Day.

But did they ever arrive? No, they never arrived,
and their routing is still unknown . . . (Poor old Bernie)
They are lost forever in the postal system ~
the mail that never got home.

Well, Denise got worried when the phone bell ringing
was a salesman for Women’s Day,
She hung up on him, and waited for a caller
in response to Mayoff Day.

But did a caller ring in? No, no caller rang them,
‘though she waited by the phone. (Poor Denise did)
for it never rang, and she could wait forever
never hear the ringing tone.

But hope springs eternal, so Denise made cookies
and she hollowed out the cabbage head.
Bernie got the margueritas and he cleaned the pool and
set the shrimp out on a lettuce bed.

And then the telephone rang! Then it rang and rang!
Every guest from years gone past, (almost fifty!)
to call up, inquiring ’bout their invitations
and see if they had been asked.

So the guests came by, and all the shrimp were eaten
and the dip and cookies went their ways
And the marguerita cooler blew the circuit breaker
like on every other Mayoff Day.

So if you think you’re left out, and it’s June first, about,
and you’ve not been asked to play (Poor forsaken!)
Blame the postal service, call Denise and Bernie
and show up next Mayoff Day!