Stories

Six Words: Deficit, Leadership, Similar, Affinity, Creation, Redeem

Everyone recognized that the company had a deficit of good leadership. The question, though, is whether the deficit was only among the corporate executives, or whether it was because of the Board of Directors. Investors were concerned that the Board would select a new CEO who was similar to the one being replaced. They were likely to have an affinity for that kind of person. In an effort to redeem themselves, the Board created an unusual search committee, one comprised not only of Board members, but also with a number of employees. At the next annual meeting, we’ll see whether share holders reelect the Board, or whether the Board gets replaced too.

Six Words: Axis, Recover, Favor, Bracket, Detector, Leader

I’ve heard the term “axis powers” and I knew it was a World War 2 term, but I didn’t know the origins of the term, or exactly who those powers were. Then, in 2002, George W. Bush, the younger Bush, used a new term, or perhaps recovered a term, in his State of the Union address – “axis of evil”.

Because of this week’s words, I put on my phrase detector hat to figure out which countries qualified to fall within each of those terms. What were the brackets around each term?

I learned that the original axis powers were Germany and Italy, whose leaders proclaimed, on October 25, 1936, that henceforth the world would rotate on the Rome – Berlin axis. That line runs north and south and I suppose was meant to displace the line that runs through Greenwich, England that is the customary axis for measuring time and distance around the world. By November 25 of that year, Japan had found favor with the leaders of those countries, or at least common enemies, so it was added to the axis – which meant extending the straight line over the top of the world, or perhaps cleaving the world apart.

Six Words: Apology, Equation, Circulation, Content, Fixture, Manner

The newspaper business has always had its challenges, but the most fundamental challenge is simply remaining in business. That means subscribers. There are various revenue models and subscribers are an essential part of the equation in every revenue model. Occasionally subscription revenue is a significant source of revenue, but usually not the main source. Sometimes newsstand revenue helps, but it’s usually not a significant source either. It’s advertising that almost always has to provide the lion’s share of the income.

Advertisers care about the size of their audience, especially the qualified buyers or the key demographic for their products. They want to know the circulation numbers for the newspaper. Newspapers run fixtures like comics and crosswords in addition to news to attract and retain subscribers.

Advertisers may or may not care about the content of the newspaper, but usually they are content to let the publisher decide the manner in which he or she wants to run the newspaper. Advertisers do, though, want to be sure that they never have to apologize for the places they’re running their ads. Whether it’s Bud Light, M&Ms, Nike, Disney World or others, brands may not intend to be controversial or they may intend to take a principled stand – but they don’t want the place they’re advertising to be the reason for the controversy.

Who ever thought that “woke” would be a four letter word.

Six Words: Dairy, Courage, Routine, Prevalence, Officer, Weakness

It took courage for Officer Friendly to enter the dairy. This was not a routine call that he was responding to, and he was the right man for the situation. No weakness in the knees for him, nor the other signs of weakness that were prevalent among so many of his fellow officers. He had experience with this kind of thing from previous years. This was the day that the dairy provided free, all you can eat ice cream to everyone in the department, but he alone knew that he had the willpower to not eat himself sick. Would you?

Six Words: Cello, Diver, Chisel, Pain, Character, Trapped

This is a tale of tragedy, of heroism and of absurdity. It’s the kind of thing that is so absurd it’s hard to believe it could ever happen at all. And yet, there have been things like the ice bucket challenge, the Tide Pod challenge, and who knows what else. So might we have predicted the cellophane challenge?

What you say, is the cellophane challenge. It is when a group of young people wrap someone in cellophane and see if they can get out. That person is trapped. And you know how strong a single layer of cellophane can be. Just think about unwrapping almost anything that has been shrink wrapped, or how you’ve turned over a bowl that you’d covered in cellophane.

Depending on how they’re wrapped, the poor young character may have trouble breathing. Unless one of their friends is a scuba diver, no one may realize that they’re not able to breathe and are in pain. The wrappee may panic. By now it’s time for someone to grab a scissors, or even a chisel, to break through the cellophane. So now we have someone panicky, in pain, immobilized and who sees their friends coming at them with a sharp object.

By now I know you’re thinking what every young person would be thinking. Who’s recording this and how soon can we put it on Tik Tok?

Six Words: Target, Wick, Puzzle, Signal, Connection, Moth

We all know that moths and butterflies are both members of the Lepidoptera species, but when you bring that connection up in conversation at the dinner table, your companions may be puzzled about how you know that and about why they should care. One signal that you’ve missed the target in maintaining their interest may be when their heads hit the table because they’ve fallen asleep out of boredom.

Never-the-less, having raised the question of how to tell the difference between moths and butterflies, it would be wicked to not answer the question. One obvious difference is that butterflies have bulbs at the end of their antennas and moths do not.

Now a question that I’ll leave you with is this: why are there mothballs but no butterfly balls? Try discussing that at dinner!

Six Words: Timber, Organize, Junior, Unfortunate, Motivation, Reserve

Perhaps the unfortunate accident could have been prevented. Or not. Could anyone have known that going into the forest to cut timber on that day would be any different than every other day? Everyone was used to seeing Paul Bunyan go off every morning with his axe slung over his shoulder and Babe, his blue ox, following close behind. But something went terribly wrong that day. Paul and Babe never returned.

The townspeople organized a fund to provide for Paul Junior’s education and well-being. Everyone thought that when Paul Junior was grown he would follow in his father’s footsteps. But Junior wasn’t his father. He didn’t have the booming laugh and the ever ready smile. He was more reserved. He wasn’t naturally muscular nor larger than most people. He didn’t have the motivation to go off into the woods every day and fell trees. Rather, Junior became a nurseryman, ensuring that the forest was healthy and prospering. That deer and squirrels and birds and other creatures had a safe place. As he went into the forest each day, instead of an ax over his shoulder, he carried a camera. Paul Senior’s legacy carries on through the stories about him. Paul Junior’s legacy carries on through the art he created.

This story should conclude with a moral or a witty line. But it doesn’t. I’m afraid I’m at my wit’s end.

Six Words: Crevice, Mile, Pasture, Correspond, Offend, Haunt

I don’t mean to offend anyone with this little English lesson. I hope it makes you laugh instead. We’ll see.

Since we got this week’s words I’ve been haunted with whether to say “crevice” or “crevasse”. It sort of corresponds to “You say ‘tomatoh’, I say ‘tomahto’”, so all week I’ve been humming in my head “let’s call the whole thing off”.

But I persevered. I used one of Mary Hermes techniques and looked the words up. Here’s the difference:

“A crevasse, [ kruh–vas ] with a second syllable that rhymes with . . . mass, is a very big, deep crack, especially a chasm in a glacier or the earth’s surface. A crevice, [ krev-is ] with a second syllable that rhymes with . . . miss, is a small crack in something that forms an opening into the thing’s surface.”

Now, it would be easy to write about a mile deep crevasse, or about watching out for a crevice if for some reason you’re walking in a pasture. But writing about crevices and crevasses that rhyme with misses and masses, I couldn’t help but think of bodily functions and bodily parts that also rhyme with crevice and crevasse. I bet you did too.

Six Words: Engineer, Help, School, Conservation, Wear, Ghostwriter

Graduates of engineering schools are not usually known for their writing skills. Some just don’t have a knack for explaining ideas in ways that others will understand. Some may think it’s hopeless to expect liberal arts majors to understand the workings of complex technology. Some may just want to conserve their energy, rather than wear themselves out trying to explain what, for instance, ChatGPT is. They know that if they ever have to write an article or give a presentation, they can turn to a ghostwriter for help.

Six Words: Umbrella, Circulation, Equation, Whole, Constant, Coincidence

Generated by ChatGPT

Once upon a time, there was a young mathematician named Emily. She loved nothing more than solving complex equations and finding patterns in numbers. One rainy afternoon, Emily was walking to her favorite coffee shop, her umbrella shielding her from the downpour.

As she walked, Emily noticed the circulation of people around her. It was as if everyone was moving in perfect sync, like cogs in a well-oiled machine. She began to wonder if there was a mathematical equation that could explain this phenomenon.

Lost in thought, Emily accidentally bumped into a man carrying a large stack of papers. As they both struggled to gather the scattered documents, Emily noticed that one of the pages had a familiar equation written on it. It was a constant that she had been studying for weeks.

Overwhelmed by the coincidence, Emily struck up a conversation with the man. As it turned out, he was a physicist who had been studying the same constant from a different perspective. Together, they realized that their work could complement each other and reveal the whole truth behind the constant they had both been studying.

From that day on, Emily and the physicist collaborated on their research, combining their expertise to solve the equation they had both been working on. It was a breakthrough in the field of physics, and their work would go on to change the way scientists thought about the constant they had studied.

Emily realized that sometimes, it takes a coincidence to bring two minds together to solve a problem. And just like the circulation of people around her, the collaboration of minds could lead to great things.