Stories

Six Words: Ideology, Violation, Advantage, Curriculum, Pigeon, Resident

Cher Ami is probably the most famous pigeon that ever lived. The battle of Meuse-Argonne in northeastern France in Fall 1918 lasted for over a month near the end of World War 1. In October of that year, a group of 500 Americans, now known as the Lost Battalion, were surrounded by Germans. As the American forces tried to shell the Germans, they were shelling the Lost Battalion as well. Cher Ami, despite being wounded three times, carried a message to the American side about the location of the Lost Battalion so that they would stop shelling them. In the curriculum of American school children of the 1920’s and 30’s, Cher Ami was well known as an American hero.

The battle of Meuse-Argonne was part of the battle against the German ideology of the time – that Germany was superior to other countries and that it had the need and the right to violate other countries’ rights and to control their residents. The German government, to maintain their advantage among their own population, used propaganda to foster national unity and support for their actions, emphasizing the perceived threats from other nations and portraying Germany as a victim.

Do we need a Cher Ami today?

Six Words: Misplace, Reliable, Selection, Critical, Hesitate, Detail

The Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 required the phase-out of incandescent light bulbs by August 1, 2023. A friend of mine was very critical of the law. He didn’t understand the details and was hesitant to comply. Hesitant isn’t actually accurate. He was adamant that he would not comply, even though his criticisms were misplaced. He claimed that the new bulbs don’t give off enough light, that he doesn’t like the color of the light, that not much electricity would be saved anyway. It’s true that in the beginning there were limited choices of sizes and colors to select from, but today you can get bulbs in many sizes, shapes and colors. You can even change the color of some light bulbs from your phone! He ignored the fact that the newer bulbs are much more reliable, and that after switching to newer bulbs, at his age, he’ll probably never need to change a light bulb again. Which is a good thing, because his wife has forbidden him from climbing on a ladder.

Six Words: Crackle, Sap, Imaginary, Strange, Amazing, Breakfast

I opened the box of cereal the way I open every new box of cereal. I slide my finger under the top flap to separate it from the one under it, lift up both flaps, and then the short side flaps. Lately I’ve been using a scissors to cut open the top of the plastic bag inside the box. The paper crackles as the cereal shifts within the bag. There should be nothing strange or amazing about that. No imaginary creatures should leap out of the box or out of the bag. This should be a boring story, not worth retelling. But not this morning.

This bag wouldn’t cut! The scissors couldn’t even get near it. I held the bag in my left hand and the scissors in my right. As I moved the scissors toward the bag, the bag twisted! It squirmed! The crackling grew louder. I gripped the bag tighter. It fought back harder. The scissors couldn’t get near it. This was absurd. Even at Gaines Ranch, the residents wouldn’t believe me if I told them about this. So the bag and the scissors and I wrestled on, and on, and on. Eventually my strength was sapped. I had to give up for the day. I shouldn’t have been surprised though. Have any of you tried to unscrew the top on a milk carton lately?

Six Words: Corn, Ajar, Addicted, Tumble, String, Flower

The flower child’s friends left the pathway ajar and she tumbled deeper and deeper into addiction, until all she could manage to do was to string popcorn into her hair.

Six Words: Renew, Empty, Cut, Whole, Infringe, Strike

The dressing room was empty because the whole group said they were going on strike. They cut the clothing they had been planning on wearing, demonstrating that they would not renew their participation in the competition. This was all in response to the owner of the contest infringing on their privacy when he walked through their dressing room while the young women were changing into their outfits. They responded by voting with their feet and walking out.

Six Words: Escape, Dangerous, Quarter, Continuation, Assignment, Assumption

A quarter moon showed over the land as I made my escape. The continuation of the shooting all around me actually made it less dangerous than if it were silent. At least this way I knew where the enemy was and didn’t have to make assumptions about where they might be. I definitely did not want this assignment to be my last one. And then I woke up.

Six Words: Amuse, Laundry, Tower, Unlikely, Econobox, Detector

I want to share an amusing story with you. As unlikely as it may seem, it is as true. Or at least it is as true as most of the things that we’ve been hearing from one overweight presidential candidate, so you know it must be true.

You all know what modern car washes look like. Some of them are like garages that you pull into and the equipment moves around your car. Older ones have a chain and guide rails and move your car through the car wash until it pops out the other end. Either way, it is like sending your car to the laundry. Lots of water gets sprayed, soap and wax get sprayed, and at the end hot air gets sprayed. Often the hot air vents tower above the car and blow it dry as the car moves past. That is what I expect to see every time I see a car go through a car wash. And that is what has always happened. Until yesterday.

Yesterday I saw a big SUV drive into car wash not far from here while I was putting gas in my car. Of course I expected to see a clean, shiny SUV come out of the other end of the car wash. Instead, a clean, shiny econobox came out! The big SUV had shrunk! If you don’t believe me, I’m willing to take a lie detector test – as soon as that overweight presidential candidate takes one too.

Six Words: Ethics, Ideology, Retreat, Panel, Intermediate, Velvet

It is usually wise to treat discussions about politics with velvet gloves. Not everyone may share your sense of ethics or ideology. Fruitful discussions try to find intermediate positions if there are differing opinions, because the more someone is forced to defend a position, the harder it is to retreat from that position. The most interesting discussions may involve a panel with differing points of view, such as whether sharks or batteries are more dangerous, and not even a skilled moderator can always keep things on topic.

Six Words: Orchard, Case, Transport, Party, Wrong, Torture

When we moved to Richardson, Texas from up north, I wanted to plant a grapefruit tree. Both in Chicago and in Connecticut, stores would advertise ruby red grapefruit from Texas. The landscaper that we used at our new house told me that I couldn’t grow grapefruit in the Dallas area. When I protested about all of the Texas grapefruit that we had eaten, he told me I was wrong, that they would only grow further south. About 800 miles further south. So I looked for alternative fruit trees that would grow in the Dallas area.

Read More »Farmer Bernie

Six Words: Equation, Houseplant, Moving, Temple, Dimension, Communication

During the Jewish High Holidays, the bimah, the stage area at the front of a temple, are decorated with large houseplants or other floral decorations. The dimensions of the bimah are used in an equation to determine the kind and the number of plants that will be needed. Because the bimah will need to be decorated again in about a week, arrangements must be made, and for volunteers to be recruited, to move the plants outdoors during the week, and then back inside again. If there are enough volunteers, it doesn’t take long. But it all depends on effective communication.